BILLI (billinaction) wrote,
BILLI
billinaction

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waking up to a new day

another new day but there is no assurance that today will be better than yesterday or even equally as productive/unproductive. i know that i made a new friend last night and that makes me smile. i feel like i might have acted out a little and i hope that isn't held against me in the future. I have a hard time building new relationships sometimes because i dont know how people react.
anyway, i was made aware that i alienate folks when i speak up to much. it gets really frustrating to feel like i am always correcting/educating people and to feel like they dont HEAR what the fuck i am saying. its even worse when i address a legitimate concern and people tell me its the wrong time to discuss it or just blow me off in general like what i was saying didnt matter to them at all. i realize my thoughts arent everyone and the majority of the time people might not want to hear what comes out of my mouth.. that does NOT mean that i will shut up and stand by though. I can't do that. If i think you did something that is offensive or you said something that was wrong, i will tell you. if I feel that you are purposefully holding people back/keeping them out of the look I will be sure to let you know. this does not mean that i am militant. this does not mean that i am angry. this means that i give a shit about humans and i want them to be treated equally and have the same opportunities that you/we get every day.
I really enjoyed our after party conversation. it made me smile. sorry i got tired, it was fuckin midnight. i am so tired still. (good thing marshay is opening the cafe so i got to sleep in just a bit.) I like hearing those stories about people different from me. It interests me so much to read about people that dont hold their queerness out for all to see. its so interesting to know folks who dont think that their identity is 'that important' or something that they should discuss with others. i guess that for me talking solves a lot of issues. but its not for everyone.
okie, i really have to brush my hair and get my ass to work.
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