BILLI (billinaction) wrote,

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complicated friendships

geez.. been a bit since i was able to have something interesting to write. here is my days: wednesday.. gsa, hung with tris cj and carrie.. went to jaimes. aww. home. we slept. thurs. up early. work. go to Ohio. friday. up early work. hung with stacey,tris, dee, precious. stace, sara, me get ready for bar. go to walmart. go to bar.
here is the fantastical part: i had a lot of fun at the bar, really. tristia and i danced and it was fun. lauren and jenn came and it made me happy to see them. nick was there and ben and scott and matt and everyone practically. also, tris's group of 'pals' were there. and i dont really get along with any of them except jaime so i didnt talk to any of them. heh. they had their own drama trying to decide who likes who and who is who's best friend. whatever. so yea the Queens sucked. tristia got me a rose, which was completely adorable and made my night. then we were leaving.. more little kid drama and then eric (whom im aquainted with) got beat up and it was scary shit. tristia was the only person to really step up and tell the dude to stop it. and it was freaky. it took a lot of guts for her to do that, i admire her courage on that. the dude could have kicked her ass. then. we go to angelos. then wanted to go home. cant find my keys so i call caid at 3something and we got to kettering to get the house key. then to home where sara passes out and me and tris go to bed.
saturday. up at like 10something. phone kept trying to wake me up. grr.. tris made breakfast for us. we all talked. then i had to get ready for work so the girls left. ah.. work yucky!
so i dont know all in all i have had a fabulous few days besides the stress. seeing that shit happen to eric just shocked me. it was scary. it reminded me of when leanne and i got into that fight in the hallway and she was trying to give me brain damage and her friend was kickin me in my head. then my friend kim helped me. that meant a lot to me. crazy how people just stare sometimes and dont know what to do.. i was so freaked out. man, sara was hyperventalating. she hadnt seen anything like that before. insane. and i had bonding with jaime on our way to Ohio and it was good. i have also become closer with stacey and i like that. he is good times. and im using he now because he told me he prefers it.. just so no one gets confused. Oh, and i hate alicia, not like that ever changed over the past few years but damn, when i see her i hate her SO much more. and she is talking shit about tristia.. not cool with me.

COMPLICATED: carolyn dawn johnson
I'm so scared that the way that I feel,
Is written all over my face,
When you walk into the room I wanna find a hiding place,
We used to laugh, we used to hug,
The way that old friends do,
But now a smile and a touch of your hand,
Just make me come unglued,
It's such a contradiction, do I lie or tell the truth,
Is it fact or fiction the way I feel for you.

It's so complicated, I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay,
Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel,
Oh, I want you to know,
But then again I don't,
It's so complicated.

Just when I think I'm under control,
I think I finally got a grip,
Another friend tells me that,
My name is always on your lips,
They say I'm more than just a friend,
They say I must be blind,
Well I admit that I've seen you watch me,
From the corner of your eye,
Oh it's so confusing I wish you'd just confess,
But think of what I'd be losing,
If your answer wasn't yes.


I hate it 'cause I've waited so long for someone like you,
Should I say it,
Should I tell you how I feel,
Oh I want you to know,
But then again I don't,
It's so complicated.

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