BILLI (billinaction) wrote,

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new beginnings.. endings

Wow. Just over 4 years ago I came out as a lesbian. Not large scale, but I told my friends.. the start of a life of coming outs. When I first realized i was queer I started searching online for friends and posting profiles. The usual, I am gay and need friends stuff. Well, there was this guy that ended up emailing me b/c for some reason he was searching out lesbians for one of his lesbian friends. He became my best friend. I talked to him every night as he drove into work and we emailed incessantly. He took me to my first michigan gay bar, Club Triangle. We danced the night away and I felt so at place. I told him I wanted information on gay stuff, he showed me the gay section of the UM-Flint library. I read most of the books, I swear, even though the majority were gay male books. It took me a while to find the lesbian/bisexual/transgender books. Anyway, my friend was my support and my strength. He coached me on telling my parents and how to be a good dyke. lol. a gay man teaching a lesbo about lesbo stuff? lol yea. After time went on, we didn't see eachother as much because of work and school and relationships. I miss him, though. He really helped me through a rough breakup and has stood by most of my decisions. I couldn't ask for a better friend. He is moving across country in about 3 weeks. My heart is broken. I was sitting here thinking about it and I don't even know what to say. I cried. I thought about all the good times at UM and the parties I used to have. I thought about the infamous Taco Bell incident. I thought about almost staying the night with him on his comfy bed one time. WOW. the past few years have really flown by and I am going to miss knowing I can call him up and talk about whatever. I wanted him to father our children. I think he is holding out to have his own, though. I respect that. I am going to miss my friend and all of the grand adventures. thank you for helping me find myself and my place in Flint town. Thank you for listening and caring and hugging me every time that you see me. I hope I have been just as good of a friend to you.
Ode to A.D.

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