off to work i go, off to work i go. I am really tired having taken some muscle relaxers before bed because my back was hurting. I am so frustrated. I never got the number to Hamilton, so today I must find it myself so that I can HOPEFULLY get in to see someone today about this lump situation. I kind of want to go to MY doctor and throw a fucking fit about how stupid he is that he ignores me. On top of the fact that they sent me a bill saying that the insurance company said i dont exist, which is PATHETIC. so what the fuck. Today will be long. work, school, shopping. tomorrow is thanksgiving and i guess i am going to my grandmothers the first part of the day and then to tristia's family in the afternoon. Guaranteed to be an adventure. Lots of eats. I forgot to mention that i did 2 panels the other day. I think the first one definitely did better than the second one. it was really stupid and the prof asked most of the questions, exaggerated stupid questions, and the class just talked about Job Corps the majority of the time. Someone asked me if I actually 'look like that' all the time. WTF is that supposed to mean? I never realized I was that BAD looking or whatever. Anyway, I don't think I will be doing any other panels for her and I only did these because she asked me directly. It's always good to do things when someone asks you, I guess, but I am learning that NO is an acceptable answer. I find that I am not an interesting panel member sometimes depending on the dynamics. I felt like I was really wasting my time in the 2nd one because everyone was so hung up on the 'pretty girl'. There was another guy on there with us who was conservative and gay. That was really odd for me because I just couldn't relate to his ideas at all about staying in the closet because people weren't meant to see it. Hearing a gay person say that YES the bible does forbid our existance is completely fucking weird.. that was said by a different panel person. Anywa, I need to get back to stuff. Good day to you all!