BILLI (billinaction) wrote,

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I hate vacations

I am really tired of not having any homework or other things to do. This whole last week has been amazingly boring. I can't seem to throw myself into anything. I can't go anywhere because I don't have a car. I feel yucky and just really lathargic. blah. We didn't go to the bar last night because Tristia was tired and she really doesn't enjoy the bar that much anymore. I only wanted to go for like 2 hours so I didn't want to drive over there alone and there was no point riding with anyone because everyone stays until way later than I want to. So, we just went BACK to sleep. I had a hard time falling back to sleep and then I woke up at 1am having a full anxiety attack. I was crying and freaking and I don't know why. I had this really weird dream that I man was standing outside of our window looking at us. By the time I noticed he was there all I could see was a blue flannel shirt and then SNAP the dream was over and I was freaking. I want to say he pointed at me or something,I dont know. Something loud and then I woke up. I made tristia talk to me for a little while until I calmed down - she is sweet like that. Finally, around 2ish I was ready to lay down and try to sleep. But it was fitful. I still feel really exhausted. I have been reading the weeks newspapers because I havent read them all week til now. lol. and trying to find something good on TV - which is hard on a weekend, a holiday weekend. grrs. Looking forward to tonight I think. heh. My dad called this morning to tell me he mailed us a gift card but it won't be here until Monday. yippee right. I feel so awkward talking to him. I hate that wierdness. I am totally PMSing and it blows but I am excited because at least I wont be grouchy while we are in Alabama. Get this shit over with now. ick. OH! I had another dream last night that I was with Gowan again and that we were living together and we had lots and lots of sex. It was strange. I hate those dreams where I am fucking a man. It's strange and I don't know what it's supposed to mean. Maybe I will see him while we are in Alabama. I think it would be cool, I usually make it a point to see him when I go down south. Having him meet Tristia might just be the ultimate OMG she is gay for him though. heh. interesting times. I can't believe Christmas it tomorrow, I leave in 4 days, New Years is in 7 days, my birthday is in 12 days. so much exciting things to look forward to. I will be 23 in less than 2 weeks. WOAH!!

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