BILLI (billinaction) wrote,

Oh *cries*

The unjust way of the world. Does no one have respect anymore? Does no one understand the need for unity/solidarity as SG put it so well? I will work my hardest at my goals (as i have been for a few months now) of becoming a better person. What I should mainly concentrate on is probably not getting upset by the generalizations and hurtful comments by people who don't like me. I guess in a way even if I am not someone's friend anymore I still expect respect as a person. Even though lots of times I do take things personally that are not directed at me.. I feel like if someone doesn't stand up and say that's wrong then it will continue to go on. People will say whatever about any group that they want but that doesn't mean we should all sit back and let them do it if we know it's wrong. We all have bad experiences with others but that shouldn't cloud of vision of everyone in that group. Why are we grouping anyway? This is why labels get people's feelings hurt.. the pressure to be in. I don't know what I want to say here really.

Maybe just that I am sad that even though we have attempted to say we are okay and that the anger isn't there anymore, it still is. I am upset that you still make me so angry when I think about the things you said to me and my partner. I am going to focus on meditation and letting go. I really don't need the extra baggage. I learned a lot about friendships over the last year and it's truly heartbreaking how many people I thought were my friend who really aren't. People that I trusted and told things to and called when I was sad and wanted to spend lots of time with because I felt we had things in common.. suddenly shattered and all this tension remains. I will let it go. Sometimes I read past friends LJ's just to see how they are, if they are okay, and of course to get the drama. lol. but it's not stalkerish I don't think because I'm not looking to find something bad. Just so happens that this time I did. I shouldn't care if you live or die I suppose. That's the impression I get now. I really hope you are reading this because I wrote you months ago and apologized for my cruelty. I wanted to let things go even if we weren't going to be friends. I needed closure. Well... looks like there is still a grudge. or maybe you are just bitter and unhappy and try to make others feel the same. i dont know, because i dont know you anymore.

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