April 12th, 2004

tea time

ties that bind

How messed up is my horoscope?: Take your time. These changes are permanent. You'll be happy to live with them. Don't be surprised if a dear one insists on bringing up the issue you thought was solved last night. This time, lay down some rules -- for example, the fact that you can't change the past.
yea, happy fucking easter people. today was another day of bleck bleck. I took precious to work and then went to see roshaunda and the babies. that was fun EXCEPT for the fact that she puts the phone in my hand and guess who was on the other line? MY SPERM DONOR FATHER! and i was like what the hell.. and he was talking to me and i was like ' i have to go, i gotta go to work'. He put Micheal on the phone ( my 5 yr old brother). I havent been allowed to talk to or see him for 2 years b/c i am a BAD INFLUENCE! so, then i was like crying and he was like 'happy easter billi'. I hung up the phone and left. Then i go home, sleep for like an hour more or something. Get ready to go to Aunt Sissy's.. question of the day was 'where is roxanne'? How bad was that? first holiday apart and my family even brings it up. Apparently the word didnt get around that we aren't together anymore. My grandfather asked first, then the whole family began to notice i guess. There i am crying like a baby b/c all i can think about is last easter and all this other holiday crap. Anyway, i leave and go to work. Have a nervous breakdown while changing the cream pump. sara hugs me and tries to make me feel better.. amazingly the day went by ok though. I thought it would really drag, and it did for a while. but now its all over.
today just feels so weird. i cant believe i talked to dad and micheal. and all the roxanne reminders. i wonder if she or her family thought about me today. lol. i have spent every holiday with her/her family since we were together. eh. i must go on.
i like my horoscope. it is awesome. have an awesome day!
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