September 13th, 2004

tea time

Contrite

Yahoo Horoscope: "The Internet can be a great resource. But it's also full of misinformation. If you haven't got any plans for the evening, expect the phone to be ringing when you get it. If you're attached, you may have an 'official' party to attend. Either way, it's time to socialize in most genteel fashion. This is the perfect time to reach out and reconnect with people. Call an old friend from high school, email your cousin or send a letter to a friend or relative who lives in another state or country. It shouldn't be difficult to find someone who's gone underground. You have many different kinds of resources at your disposal, and it would be a shame to let them go to waste. A relative or mutual friend of the person you're trying to find can be especially helpful."
The Yahoo word today is contrite.. my sentence for the day: I feel very contrite about my actions at Kyle's. :(

SEX SURVEY
GENERAL INFORMATION – Name: Billi Age: 21 Sex: female Hair: short/brown w/highlights Eyes: hazel Height: 5'4" Birthplace: flint Location: MI
QUESTIONS - 1) What is your sexual preference? queer grrls
2) Who was the first person you ever had a crush on? josh & kelly
3) What was your first date like? movies,dinner, went to the lake
4) What was your first kiss like? I was 15,drunk, didnt know him
5) Have you ever French-Kissed someone? yep
6) Have you ever touched another person sexually (i.e. “Second Base”)? what are the bases of lesbian sex
7) Have you ever manually stimulated another person (i.e. “Fingered, Jerked-Off”)? yup
8) Have you ever had it done to you? hehe yea
9) Do you have a nickname for your genitalia? lol
10) What is it? who haaa..
11) Do you masturbate? yes, firm believer in it
12) If so, how often? used to be lots, not so much in the last month or so
13) Do you have fantasies? sometimes
14) If so, could you share one? i could yes
15) Have you ever fantasized about the same sex? daily
16) What turns you on? stomache, hips, hands
17) Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend? both
18) If so, how many? too many boyfriends. 4 girlfriends.
19) Have you ever been naked around another person, or persons? yes
20) How would you describe your physical appearance? attractive
21) How would you describe your personality? uptight maybe? hah. sincere
22) Have you ever had sex? fortunately yeah
23) How old were you your first time? 17
24) How many people have you ever had sex with? 5
25) Have you ever had an orgasm? YES
26) Have you ever received oral sex? yes
27) If not, would you? sure
28) Have you ever given oral sex? yes!!
29) If not, would you? -----
30) Do you use condoms? sometimes
31) What brand? whatever is in the drawer
32) Have you ever been into a sex shop? pricilla's,lions den,Todd's(FL)
33) If so, what did you buy? toys, accessories,games,porn
34) If not, would you? -----
35) What would you buy? i got my eye on a few things
36) Have you ever used any type of “Personal Lubricant”? hehe
37) If so, what kind? ketchup packet stuff, and WET
38) Do you own any sexy lingerie or underwear? not so much
39) Do you have a fetish? define that please
40) What is your favorite sexual thing to do? oral sex
41) … to have done to you? u dont want to know
42) Have you ever participated in S&M or Bondage? maybe once or twice
43) If not, would you? yea
44) Have you ever used handcuffs during sex? yes
45) Have you ever participated in anal sex? given or recieved?
46) If not, would you? depends
47) Have you ever participated in a “Titi Fuck”? no but i had an offer once
48) If not, would you? probably no
49) Do you know what a “Rim Job” is? yes
50) If so, have you ever participated in one? no
51) If not, and you know what it is, would you? not anytime soon
52) Have you ever had sex with more than one partner at a time? nope
53) Have you ever had sex in a room where other people were having sex? i dont think so
54) Have you ever participated in an orgy? no
55) If so, how many and what sexes?
56) Do you watch pornography? not that much
57) If not, would you? definitely
58) About how many times a day do you think about sex? more than i want to admit
59) Have you ever had phone sex? attempted yes
60) If not, would you? nope
61) Have you ever had on-line sex? hehe.. funny u mention this..
62) If not, would you? no
63) What is your most ideal place to have sex? on the grass by the lake
64) What do you look for in a partner? ability to have conversation, make me laugh, good sex
65) How often do you flirt? you tell me
66) Have you ever “Flashed” someone? yes
67) Have you ever been “Flashed”? yes by the pierced boob trio. talk about barf
68) What is the longest amount of time you have had sex? omg, all day
9) How long was your longest relationship? almost 2 years
70) On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how would you rate your: HOTNESS - 6 PERSONALITY - 8 SEXUAL ABILITY - 8 PROMISCUITY - 4 WILLINGNESS TO EXPERIMENT - 10

I thought this was a fun quiz.
  • Current Mood
    cold cold
tea time

shoot me

Fuck you and you and you and YOU!
so you want to be my best friend, right? one way to go about that is to NOT betray my confidence. Do not go and tell people the things that I tell you in EXAGGERATION! Do not make me sound like a whore, like an evil person.. and then call to see if I want to hang out. Do not try to be my buddy and then talk about how you don't want to hang out with me because I have drama at home. DO NOT let me think that I can trust you when you know every word I say gets twisted around into somethign different. I can't trust you, I can't fucking talk to you, I don't even want to look at you. you hurt me. Everyone has told me that you talk shit about me, but I didn't believe it, you are my best friend. Now that I know what you said, and I know you can't keep anything to yourself, fuck you. I am through with this. i gave you more than enough of myself. I trusted you, I let you in. You fucked me over. Goodbye dear friend.
I realize that there is a side of me that I wish I didn't know. Only one other time in my life have I hit someone out of anger, and that was in the 9th grade. All I keep thinking about is that i fucking hit Roxanne. Not just a little hit, I put all of my power behind my fist and punched her. I bruised her. I am sorry. I know that I can't make any of it right at all. now she is going to think i am some sort of girl abuser, which I'm not. Never have I hit anyone that I was dating, or my friends, or anyone. I dont do shit like that. I can't explain why I did it to her. I feel like such an ass. I can't even explain it to you all. I think this is the end of something that was crazy to start with. Everything always has been intense with the 2 of us.. and now I fucked up any chance of friendship. I don't blame her at all. I would hate me too. I would be afraid of me. I dont want people to be afraid of me, or think that I hit people. I don't like knowing that something happened that I feel like I couldnt control. It was an instant and I reacted. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Apologies don't mean much and I know that but still I mean this. AHH! She is really pissed off at me right now. Pretty much bitched me out on text.. like i am a wife abuser and she needs to hide from me. Told me to stay away from her, this won't be happening again etc etc. Made me sound so horrible to myself. On top of that i am already pissed at her for telling me that i said shit i KNOW i didnt say. I confronted her supposed source and we figured out why Roxanne would get the info she thinks she has on me. and its bullshit. why can't she just be straight with me?! instead of draggin other people into it or lying to me? i have fucked up a lot with her. starting with letting things go to far and then leaving her hanging. that was wrong. i shouldnt have let things happen like they did. I should really think more sometimes.
OMG, had my first math test and it was okay. I think i did ok, I know i messed up on these properties things but that's all I think. anyone know the least common multiple of 24 and 44.. just wanna see if i got the right answer. i am freezing to death in this computer lab. this doesnt bode well for me. i'm gonna freeze in poly sci probably too. should have brought a sweater damn me.
good day.. billi
  • Current Music
    *this is a quiet zone*