March 18th, 2005

tea time

(no subject)

I hate snow. Now i have to go buy new shoes for the funeral.. right now. Just made up my test and now I have to go get shoes because the ones I have are open toe.. I dont want to freeze. Gonna be going to the funeral alone, and that is really weird for me. Today is gonna be nuts.
Had a nervous breakdown yesterday. Spent all most all day crying. They made me work a longer shift than scheduled and I didnt want to because I had all this homework. But I didnt have a choice. I miss Alabama. I am failing my classes. I can't seem to get anything together. I am so stressed out. My shoulder is still sore (need to go back to DR.. keep puttin it off). I had to try to study late last night when i finally got home but i didnt finish. so had to do it this morning before the dumb test. my teacher was late coming to give it to me. 12 minutes late. GRR! Then said he thought we meant next Friday. OMG nuts!
ok, gotta get dressy shoes for my outfit.
Hey Patrick, Its at 7pm so you would have to go in night time.
Sorry to anyone who read Tris post, I heard it was a bad one, but she deleted it before i got to read it. i hate LJ drama between couples and she fed into that. sad times.
Oh!! i almost forgot, I talked to No Panties last night. She totally came in and talked to me and was telling me about her new place and how she was meeting her mom (at 10pm)to move etc etc. Weird, she seemed so happy.. I wonder if people are fake happy sometimes.
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    apathetic apathetic
tea time


I keep forgetting to bring this book with me that I want to quote stuff out of. This one writer in GENDERqUEER was saying something that is such a CJ quote.. about not judging by gender, how does that factor into a person.. and I like it and I should probably write it down somewhere or something or I will always forget. GRR
The funeral was nice. It was sort of weird. No one was there for R except for me and her grrl.. who was a little distant maybe because she is the new grrl and doesnt interact much with the family. I dunno. Anyway, I told R that I was trying to round her pals up to hang tonight so that she could relax and she said that she appreciated it. So far, only Dee and Kyle emailed me back. I felt bad for her at the ceremony because she was alone. TEARS! (i hope my friends are here for me when my parent passes on) This one guy was speaking and was inviting folks to get saved (accept J.C. into their lives) and it was awkward. I was like WTF this is a funeral not a Sunday cermon. Whatever though. We made it through somehow.
Called the eye place to see if my glasses were in so that I didnt have to make a wasted trip. Well, the lenses are finally there.. but they haven't been put into the frame yet. Isn't that just hilarious!! So, hopefully I will get them today.
I called megan and we talked and it made me smile. I really want to go back down south for a while. Probably when Tara gets married I will take an extended break down there. I am not graduating this year. I am going to drop the Econ class. I have faced that I am not going to be able to work and do school full time. I literally can't not work, so I will have to slow down in school. Take fewer classes and concentrate on them more. Taking too much right now and I can't focus because its too much. So, no graduating in April. I am really upset about it, I really want to be out of here. It is just going to take me longer than I had thought. I will finish up here over summer and then transfer elsewhere. Thought I won't officially get my degree until I walk, I have been told that I can get paperwork certifying that I have completed necessary classes. Yay, so sad Billi. I just hate giving up. But things are so out of hand I really just need to destress.
If anyone isn't busy right now, call me and we can kick it. I am lonely.. but I look cute. lol. I ended up buying a whole outfit today, not just shoes. its cute. I hate driving and I dont want to go to Bay City alone. So blah. need a new job that is days.
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    crazy crazy