September 8th, 2005

tea time

(no subject)

It is so hard to be strong for someone when you are also hurting.
I feel so drained today. Lets see.. went late to work b/c i was so tired.. C fucking WALKED OUT ON ME. I went up front and she had left, no note, nothing. So, I closed the cafe' after my 10 hour shift and left. I am really pissed because I already had a long day bagging coffee and cooking and NOW i got a fucking grown woman who doesn't have any responsibilities.
Get home, go to hospital. Emotional breakdown. Tristia breakdown. She (Barbie Gramma) is going to die tonight. No one wants to be with her, I think we should go back up there. I would hate to die alone just because no one wanted to see my die. We all know its gonna come within the next day most likely. She can't eat (they aren't using tubes) and she doesnt do anything. She now has a lot of morphine and that is supposed to ease her into sleep and death. I hate this. It reminds me of when my gramma died and it was horrible. I am so scared. I don't want to get the news. I don't want to hear it. She was always the NICEST person in T's family. Always treated me well and talked to me. So strange.. oh well. It's time to think about Tris now. I gotta be her rock.
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