December 24th, 2005

tea time

I hate vacations

I am really tired of not having any homework or other things to do. This whole last week has been amazingly boring. I can't seem to throw myself into anything. I can't go anywhere because I don't have a car. I feel yucky and just really lathargic. blah. We didn't go to the bar last night because Tristia was tired and she really doesn't enjoy the bar that much anymore. I only wanted to go for like 2 hours so I didn't want to drive over there alone and there was no point riding with anyone because everyone stays until way later than I want to. So, we just went BACK to sleep. I had a hard time falling back to sleep and then I woke up at 1am having a full anxiety attack. I was crying and freaking and I don't know why. I had this really weird dream that I man was standing outside of our window looking at us. By the time I noticed he was there all I could see was a blue flannel shirt and then SNAP the dream was over and I was freaking. I want to say he pointed at me or something,I dont know. Something loud and then I woke up. I made tristia talk to me for a little while until I calmed down - she is sweet like that. Finally, around 2ish I was ready to lay down and try to sleep. But it was fitful. I still feel really exhausted. I have been reading the weeks newspapers because I havent read them all week til now. lol. and trying to find something good on TV - which is hard on a weekend, a holiday weekend. grrs. Looking forward to tonight I think. heh. My dad called this morning to tell me he mailed us a gift card but it won't be here until Monday. yippee right. I feel so awkward talking to him. I hate that wierdness. I am totally PMSing and it blows but I am excited because at least I wont be grouchy while we are in Alabama. Get this shit over with now. ick. OH! I had another dream last night that I was with Gowan again and that we were living together and we had lots and lots of sex. It was strange. I hate those dreams where I am fucking a man. It's strange and I don't know what it's supposed to mean. Maybe I will see him while we are in Alabama. I think it would be cool, I usually make it a point to see him when I go down south. Having him meet Tristia might just be the ultimate OMG she is gay for him though. heh. interesting times. I can't believe Christmas it tomorrow, I leave in 4 days, New Years is in 7 days, my birthday is in 12 days. so much exciting things to look forward to. I will be 23 in less than 2 weeks. WOAH!!
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    anxious anxious
tea time


her grandmother bought us matching pink shirts that are V neck - to the extreme and shortsleeve. lol. We would never wear anything that was matching, especially something SO pink and Vneck. geez. We got an awesome luggage set that really made me happy. gift certificates out the wazoo..i got a Dove bathset, Celine Dion perfume, Avon body stuff - variety, we got a crockpot and a new set of knives. she got a monopoly baseball game and some things I can't really remember. I suck. I know. it was good times, though. the day was a success. Can't wait for tomorrow to be over though. If I eat anything else I will go crazy.