BILLI (billinaction) wrote,
BILLI
billinaction

My truths

I feel really lost a lot of times, and really stressed lately. It seems like I have a hell of a lot on my plate when I think about it. and then other times, i wonder why am I freaking out and getting stressed over nothing. Because I am crazy, I have decided. I am a constant worrier. Lately I been worrying about my family. I haven't heard anything from my sister or how they are doing in FL now. I probably won't hear anything. I'm supposed to be out of the loop. Eh, and normal relationship things that stress me out. but really tristia and i dont ever really disagree or anything. i just worry b/c things seems to be so good all the time. i am not the best partner in the world, and i know that. i have a lot of improving to do. mostly because i still deal a lot with past relationship things. I try and deal on my own without having to talk to other peoples about it. but then tristia feels left out and like i am withdrawn. I just feel like my thoughts are a little scattered and confusing so i rather not share most of my feelings with people. eh, trying to be a better person. I have changed so much in the past 6 months. just trying to get me back to being my activisty self and be more involved AGAIN. i sort of have been slacking off while trying to deal with my emotional drama.
gonna do betta tho. gettin back to me again. just trying to get a semi-balanced work/sleep schedule. which sucks. took me forever to get to sleep lastnight. i am taking sleeping pills because i can't sleep normally. i am sure that is part of why i feel so lethargic lately. blah. need to get a better schedule.
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