BILLI (billinaction) wrote,

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Ok, so i had this dream that my mother died. She apparently had cancer and didnt even know it. She just died all of a sudden and they were like 'she had cancer for a long time'. So either she didnt know or she didnt tell anyone. and in this dream i was so sad.. and i was walking really late at night with 2 people that i have met once in real life. one was a girl that sang at Creole Gallery and the other was just someone i met. and we were talking and i started to have a panic attack. they were concerned and i told them it was okay that i do that sometimes and it helps me relax. (weird, i know) but when i had the attack it took me back to being with my mom. and i could remember talking to her. and i got upset b/c i was like 'I just talked to her yesterday'. and they were like no she has been dead a while. and so we made it to my house and ppl were there and i was not wanting to be there. I went for a drive with my moms best friend mary and my stepdad andy. and they were like 'whats wrong with you' and i was like 'i have no one to be close to. mom is gone and took everything'. and i was balling my eyes out. and so then they were trying to console me. i woke up and was in a panic. i thought my mom was dead and that i imagined i talked to her yesterday ( i really did ) i tried to call her but my phone gets fucked up when the weather sucks out here. and it was the most emotional dream i have had in a long time. and it was scary. why?! ah. my mom will never die. i dont know what i would do if she did..

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