BILLI (billinaction) wrote,

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Dont you love when you have a conversation with someone and it feels like the last one you will ever have? I spoke with a 'friend' last night and it just felt like I would never talk to her again. Something in her tone made me feel as though I was no longer important, that our friendship meant nothing. On top of the fact that she has a lot of things going on for her this week- deaths, vehicle problems, relationship issues, all sorts of things. It's weird that when a strong woman really needs friends, she turns them away. How weird is that?! I feel like I don't have that many friends anymore, mostly because I now live a million miles from everyone I know. Also, people just get distant as we grow up. I totally understand that. I don't know how I have held onto my UM-F friends as long as I have considering how much we have changed, etc. But when I love someone and I depend on them as a friend, its super hard to let that go, to just realize we are no longer significant to one another. In a way, i feel used, but that's what friendships are about, yes, using eachother? I felt like my friend used me when she needed someone and when she was lonely.. but now she REALLY needs people to be there for her and she is totally NOT talking to me. Hard for me not to take it personal when I find out she is only NOT TALKING to time for me to be a big girl and suck it up.
This whole weekend sucked. It's snowing all the freakin time now. That makes me want to cry. I had Friday and Sunday off. So i literally didnt leave home on Friday. Just relaxed at home. Saturday we both worked. Sunday we went to PFLAG. It was weird. but CJ and Carrie went so i felt cool. haha. Tristia broke her car by driving up onto the curb (her car sits low) and broke some things off it. SO her dad had to come fix it, how nice he is. We did homework. i did homework.. she got frustrated. then to bed.
Today more snow. math test.. i dont think i did too well on it. poli sci..last day before final. hope i dont fall asleep today. hah. then WORK! YAY! more driving in the snow. I work at 6am tomorrow.. totally not my usual style. ugh

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